5 Signs That You May Need to Enforce Boundaries in Your Relationship
Maybe you’ve never made a strong effort to enforce boundaries in your relationship. But perhaps you’ve realized that you consistently set aside your own needs in favor of your partner. You might turn down invitations from your friends in order to spend time with your partner. Your plans may be centered around your partner’s preferences. You might even feel a bit guilty when you try to advocate for yourself, simply because you’re so used to putting your partner first.
If these issues sound familiar, it’s time to practice enforcing real boundaries in your relationship. Let’s explore a few warning signs that you would benefit from stronger boundaries with your partner.
1. You Barely Have Time to Yourself
Does it ever seem like your time isn’t your own? Of course, it’s normal to spend plenty of time with your partner, but you don’t need to dedicate every moment of your free time to your relationship. Alternatively, you might be losing free time because you’re handling the majority of household chores. In this case, it’s critical to reassess the division of labor in your household and ensure your partner is taking on their fair share.
It’s also important to preserve some of your free time for your own hobbies. Remember, it’s healthy to have your own passions, independent from your partner.
2. Your Other Relationships Are Suffering
Maybe it’s been a while since you hung out with your friends without your partner tagging along. As a result, your friends might be getting frustrated. Your friends and family may have even expressed concern because they rarely seen you anymore. Depending on how little time you’ve been able to spend with your friends, they may have stopped extending invitations to hang out. If your other relationships are suffering, your partner may not be respecting your boundaries.
3. You’re Always Pushing Your Needs to the Backburner
No matter what, you try to put your partner first. This might seem romantic and admirable, but this level of self-sacrifice is detrimental in the long run. You might constantly defer to your partner’s opinion rather than offering your own opinion, and you feel awkward about speaking up to address your own needs. You deserve a relationship in which your needs are treated equally to your partner’s, rather than a second thought.
4. You Feel Responsible for Your Partner’s Emotions
It’s only natural that you and your partner will influence each other’s emotions. But this does not mean that you’re fully responsible for their emotional state. If your partner regularly says that you “made” them feel a certain way, when you have not done anything hurtful, it could be a sign that they’re putting an unfair level of responsibility on you.
At the end of the day, no one can help how they feel. But every adult is responsible for managing their own emotions, rather than taking out these feelings on other people.
5. You’re Experiencing Resentment
What creates resentment between two people? If you feel as though you’ve given so much more to your partner than they’ve ever given you in return, resentment can start to grow. When you’re always holding yourself back, it’s natural to feel slighted.
Resentment can spell out the end of a relationship. Perhaps you’ve been suppressing your own needs, preferences, and opinions for so long that you’re beginning to resent your partner. By setting boundaries and creating more space for your needs in your relationship, you can gradually let go of this resentment.
Next Steps
Are you struggling to enforce boundaries in your relationship? Reach out today to find out how self-esteem therapy can help you set boundaries with confidence.
