Grieving Parents: 7 Tips For Holidays

Updated for 2026

The holidays are one of the hardest times of year for grieving parents.

As memories of what once was—and visions of what should have been—come flooding back, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or disconnected from the world around you. While your world may have stopped the moment you lost your baby, the calendar keeps moving. And each holiday can feel like another painful reminder of what’s missing.

Whether this is your first holiday without your child or your fiftieth, grief does not magically get easier with time. But there are ways to care for yourself gently as you move through this season.

If you’re a grieving parent, you are deeply seen here.
If you love someone who is grieving, thank you for wanting to understand.

1. Ignore Other People’s Expectations

One of the most important things you can do during the holidays is focus on your needs—not everyone else’s comfort.

Comments like “stay positive,” “everything happens for a reason,” or “they wouldn’t want you to be sad” often come from people who have never experienced child loss. These words don’t help. They usually make grief feel lonelier.

There is no correct timeline for grief. Letting go of other people’s expectations about how you should feel can make the holidays more survivable.

For support systems:
Your role isn’t to fix grief or offer silver linings. It’s to listen, validate, and show up consistently. Presence matters more than words.

2. Surround Yourself with Support

You do not owe your energy to anyone who minimizes your grief or makes this season harder.

The holidays are not the time to push yourself into environments where you feel unseen, judged, or pressured to “act normal.” Choose to spend time with people who understand—or who are willing to learn.

Protecting your emotional space is an act of self-care.

3. Set (and Keep) Boundaries

Just because you attended every holiday event in the past doesn’t mean you have to this year.

If you can’t handle a party full of children, that’s okay.
If you can only attend one gathering—or none—that’s okay.
If staying home feels safest, that’s okay too.

You are the expert on what you need. Communicate your boundaries clearly and without apology.

For support systems:
Respect “no” without pushing. Offer quieter, flexible alternatives like a walk, coffee, or movie night.

4. Practice Self-Care—Your Way

Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all, especially during grief.

For some, it looks like staying home with a pet and going through photos.
For others, it’s getting out with a trusted friend.
For many grieving parents, it’s both.

Self-care simply means responding to your needs with compassion—whether that includes therapy, rest, connection, or space.

5. Talk About Your Child

Talking about your child can feel painful—but silence can feel even heavier.

Your baby existed. Their life mattered. Speaking their name keeps their memory alive.

Many grieving parents want to talk about their child but worry about making others uncomfortable. You are not a burden for remembering.

For support systems:
Follow the parent’s lead. Listen. Share memories if invited. Let them know their child will not be forgotten.

6. Include Your Child in Holiday Traditions

Holidays can feel unbearable because they highlight absence.

Finding ways to include your child—lighting a candle, hanging a stocking, creating an ornament, baking something in their honor—can help you feel connected rather than erased.

There is no “right” way to do this. Honor your child in whatever way feels meaningful to you.

7. Be Gentle With Yourself

If you cry every day in December, that’s okay.
If you can’t decorate this year, that’s okay.
If your grief looks different from last year, that’s okay too.

Grief after pregnancy or infant loss doesn’t end—it changes. Some days will be heavier than others. That doesn’t mean you’re failing.

Do what you can, when you can, with what you have. That is enough.

For support systems:
Be patient with mood shifts. Small triggers can bring big emotions. Gentleness goes a long way.

Take Care of Yourself This Holiday Season

The holidays are uniquely painful for grieving parents, especially after pregnancy or infant loss. You don’t need to “get through” them perfectly—you just need support.

Remember your child.
Honor your limits.
Treat yourself with kindness.

If you’re struggling and want support, therapy for pregnancy and infant loss can provide a safe, compassionate space to navigate this season.

The holidays are a difficult time for anyone grieving and dealing with Therapy for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. When it’s the loss of a child, the pain is unbearable at times. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to get through them. Remember them, remember your boundaries, and treat yourself kindly. If you have questions or want to know how I can help, I offer a 30-minute consultation. Please reach out today!