Healing While Parenting: How to Move Forward After Birth Trauma

You recently welcomed your child into the world, but you’ve been struggling to make sense of your birth experience. Countless women struggle with birth trauma, yet society pressures mothers to keep quiet about any negative feelings connected with childbirth.

Maybe you dealt with unexpected interventions or physical complications. Perhaps your healthcare providers dismissed your concerns during labor, leaving you feeling unheard, vulnerable, or even frightened. You might feel ashamed, as though you personally failed in some way. But birth trauma is not a reflection of your parenting abilities, and healing is within your reach. Let’s explore how you can take small steps to move forward after birth trauma.

Let Go of How You “Should” Feel

In the wake of birth trauma, you might have flashbacks of your birth experience or find it difficult to bond with your baby. Yet when people ask you how you’re feeling, it seems like you always have to answer positively. You might question whether you did something wrong, or if you’re not “grateful” enough.

No one can tell you how you should feel after having a child, especially if you’ve experienced birth trauma. Allowing yourself to sit with your emotions rather than pressuring yourself to feel a certain way can actually be freeing. You do not necessarily have to label how you’re feeling. Just give your emotions space and understand that it’s natural for healing to take time.

Write Down Your Story

Expressing yourself and telling your story honestly can help you find a sense of relief. Opening up to a close friend or trusted family member can be a valuable part of the healing process.

However, birth trauma is deeply personal, and you don’t have to share such an intimate story if you’re not ready. Instead, you may want to write down your story in a journal. This can help you process what happened and even reframe the event to acknowledge your inner strength.

Accept Help When Offered

When you’re adjusting to caring for a new baby, every day can feel overwhelming. But when your support system offers help, don’t be afraid to say yes. Learning to trust in others again can help you along your trauma healing journey. You do not have to navigate this difficult chapter all on your own.

Make Space for Self-Care

After giving birth, making time for self-care is much easier said than done. However, even carving out a little space and time for yourself can make a world of difference. Healing from birth trauma is a path of both physical and emotional recovery.

You may not be able to sleep for hours uninterrupted, but you might be able to incorporate daily walks, gentle movement, deep breathing exercises, or nourishing meals. Caring for your body and mind can ease the weight of birth trauma.

Consider Working with a Therapist

Birth trauma can bring up so many complicated emotions. You may be wondering if you’ll ever feel open to having another child, or how to deepen your bond with your baby and embrace this new time in your life. Additionally, you might be hesitant to trust medical providers again.

If you don’t know where to turn with these questions, therapy could be a good place to start. By working with a therapist who specializes in guiding women through some of life’s most challenging moments, you can find the support and affirmation that you really need.

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If you’re struggling to feel like yourself again after birth trauma, postpartum therapy can help you navigate this difficult chapter. I invite you to schedule a consultation to learn more about my counseling services for new parents.